People sometimes ask, “How do you KNOW you have promises from God?” “How do you KNOW when God tells you something?” These are legitimate questions. God speaks in a variety of ways, but everything He speaks is ALWAYS confirmed in His word. He will NEVER say something that goes against His word! And more times than not, He speaks using His word.
How do we KNOW Ariel is going to be okay? That story has it’s roots in another miracle that I LOVE to share with anyone who will listen. 🙂
It was almost a month to the day after JW came back home. God had restored our marriage. Although the first few months of restoration are VERY hard, it was still the first fulfilled promise God had made to me. I was about to be informed of the second.
JW was offshore and I was journaling in my prayer chair. As I’m writing, I hear, “I’m pregnant.” I stop writing. “Did I just hear that?” I wasn’t even journaling/praying anything about children! Just like now, I had my walls covered with various scriptures of promise God had given me during the days of standing for my marriage. After I’d stopped writing, I looked up and my eyes fell on:
Psalm 37:5 Commit your way to the Lord, trust also in Him, and He shall bring it to pass.
“What?!” Ok, so I honestly ignore that and go back to journaling, only to look up again and have my eyes fall on:
Psalm 37:4 Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of your heart.
“Ok, this is too weird!” I start journaling what I was experiencing because it was just so obvious and REAL. As I’m writing about what is taking place, I look up a final time to have my eyes rest on:
Luke 1:45 Blessed is she who has believed that the Lord will fulfill His promises to her!
“Really, God, the very words spoken to Mary after You tell her she’s pregnant? Ok, ok, I get the message!”
Needless to say, nine months later we had our first child! 😀 God does speak to us, and in the most amazing ways. We just have to quiet ourselves and listen. I also highly recommend posting God’s word all over the place! 😉
So, back to the promises for Ariel…
I had just gotten back to Ariel’s hospital room after a very serious conversation with her oncologist. Her diagnosis had been confirmed and now came the part where we had to decide to let them “treat” her…the weight of the world was on my shoulders. You have to understand, JW and I had already had this conversation about ourselves. Last year, both of our dads had been diagnosed with the C-word. “Treatments” nearly killed my dad until he finally stopped them. And we just lost JW’s dad a few months ago after a year of “treatments!” We wouldn’t choose those “treatments” for ourselves, but not one time did we ever consider the possibility of having to make that decision for our tiny children!!!! Now, here we were, faced with signing paperwork detailing all the possible side effects from common to catastrophic that gave consent to give those very “treatments” to our baby girl!
I crawled in that hospital bed beside my baby girl and snuggled against her, my heart heavy, my head whirling. “God, what are we to do?” “How can we do this?” “How are You to get the glory in all this?” “We don’t want to follow the world’s way/wisdom…”
It was then that I looked up from that hospital bed and my eyes fell on the underlined words in this verse I had posted on her walls the night before:
Daniel 6:23b So Daniel was taken up out of the den, and no injury whatever was found on him, because he believed in his God.
I looked down and I wondered. Then I looked up again and my eyes rested on the capitalized words from this verse across the room:
Genesis 50:20-21 “But as for you, you meant evil against me; but God meant it for good, in order to bring it about as it is this day, to save many people alive. Now therefore, DO NOT BE AFRAID; I will provide for you and your little ones.” And he comforted them and spoke kindly to them.
“God, are You saying we have to go through this? That Ariel will not be harmed by these “treatments?” “God, is this what You are saying?”
All this took place while JW was still meeting with the doctor. I decided then, that as the God-given authority in our home, whatever JW wanted to do, we would do. Just then, the doctor and JW walked in with the papers in tow. He looks at me and says he thinks we should sign the papers and consent to the treatments. I said, “OK.”
From that day on, we’ve had peace in the midst of the turmoil. Peace beyond my belief. Now, just because we have peace, doesn’t make anything we experience less horrific. It is so painful watching your baby girl get bigger and bigger from the steroids given her. It’s hard to see her depressed and emotional from those same steroids. It’s difficult to see her lie around all day long watching movies, because she has no energy or interest in anything else. It’s unbelievable knowing she’s losing her hair. 😦 This is the hardest thing I’ve ever experienced. Yet, I KNOW God has given us promises, and that is how I make it each day. And each day, brings us closer to the fulfillment of those promises.
Philippians 4:7 and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.