Sometimes we got no fight left. Sometimes all we can do is lie on the floor and let the fight roar around us. It doesn’t have to mean we surrender. It doesn’t mean we give up. It’s simply all we can muster in circumstances way bigger than we are. In these moments we don’t seek answers. We have no energy to understand. All we need is to be reminded how much Jesus loves us. In these moments He tells us we are loved and priceless. Sometimes we cry. Sometimes we can’t even muster tears. But He understands. He lived through Gethsemane. So He just sits with us. He even has the gall to smile at us. When He knows we can handle it, He whispers (again) all the promises He has for us. We sigh. We know what comes next: He’ll give us strength and help us up, to lead us back into battle. But right now, can we just be here together in the quiet? He smiles even bigger…

Here’s a typical conversation I have with God. His responses are in bold. Mine are italicized. Regular font would be the narrative of me processing the conversation…

Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the LORD, I will be joyful in God my Savior. Habakkuk 3:17-18

Let me rephrase: Though the business calls don’t come and your house is in desperate need of repair, though your vehicles don’t run and your mom is in the hospital, though your daughter is diagnosed with cancer and your son needs eye surgery, yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in God my Savior.

I can fill in the blanks of this verse with all kinds of troubles from which we are suffering, but the meaning stays the same:

“No matter my circumstances, I will rejoice in God.”

Wikipedia says, “The major theme of Habakkuk is trying to grow from a faith of perplexity and doubt to the height of absolute trust in God.” That’s what God is doing in my life. I have been perplexed with all that’s happened, while God unctions me to a deeper trust of Him.

I’ve looked around and questioned God’s timing, His allowance of things, and even His word. I wonder how so much bad can happen to those who sincerely want to live God’s will in their everyday lives…who truly just want to show His glory in everything.

Job 2:10 (NKJV) “Shall we indeed accept good from God, and shall we not accept adversity?”

When God does speak, it’s promises of blessings and prosperity; of provision and comfort. He tells me He sees and understands.

Habakkuk 1:5 (NKJV) “Look among the nations and watch–Be utterly astounded! For [I will] work a work in your days [Which] you would not believe, though it were told [you.]

Well, God, You are on point with that…I am struggling to believe. God, do you see what I see, because it looks dismal down here. Truly, God…

Isaiah 55:8-9 (NKJV) 8 “For My thoughts [are] not your thoughts, Nor [are] your ways My ways,” says the LORD. 9 “For [as] the heavens are higher than the earth, So are My ways higher than your ways, And My thoughts than your thoughts.

Well…apparently so…so let me see it Your way…let me only do what You want…

Jeremiah 32:42 (NKJV) “For thus says the LORD: ‘Just as I have brought all this great calamity on this people, so I will bring on them all the good that I have promised them.

So, You are telling me that as bad as all this is (and it’s REALLY bad, God) it will end up being that good huh? That’s gonna be some really awesome stuff, God…

I read a commentary yesterday that said, “Before God blesses someone or gives them authority of any kind, He tests them over a period of time to see if they will be worthy of the blessing or calling.

So I wait. I take one day at a time. I try to roll with the punches and live my life as if I’m in an obstacle course, jumping the next hurdle. I try to keep my mind on the crazy stuff I’ve seen God do…miraculous amazing things…and I wait for Him to do it again.