January 26, 2019:

I have been so fearful of the next treatment phase. I don’t want to watch Ariel suffer. I don’t want to enter the darkness again. I was so full of worry, I didn’t realize until later I didn’t even pray about it…to my shame.

But God knows our thoughts. He understands where we are. It’s almost like choking and being unable to call for help…guess I was just running around flapping my arms desperate for air. Anyway, I’m coming down the stairs for lunch with a heavy heart, only for my eyes to fall on a verse I have posted:

Isaiah 41:10 (NLT) Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.

I knew He had heard my chaotic thoughts and He was talking to me. I don’t know how many times I pass that verse and don’t see it, but that day God was speaking it to me. He reminded me that He’s not gone. He’s very much near and Ariel will be ok. We both will, because He’s holding us up with HIS right hand.

These verses we have posted everywhere in our house are very significant. When the enemy comes to attack, we use them to attack back (it is our sword.) But especially in moments like above, God uses them to remind us of His promises to us and to speak to us and to encourage us.

Finally, as if Isaiah 41:10 wasn’t enough to remind me of His presence and goodness, He leads me to Isaiah 55:11

Isaiah 55:11 (NLT) It is the same with my word. I send it out, and it always produces fruit. It will accomplish all I want it to, and it will prosper everywhere I send it.

God’s word is everlasting. It changes us. On it, we can depend. I know all that, but sometimes I need a reminder. Figured someone else might too…

Isaiah 65:24 (KJV)

And it shall come to pass, that before they call, I will answer; and while they are yet speaking, I will hear.