We just suffered our second miscarriage. It has been heartbreaking to say the least. I told my husband in the pit of my despair, “I don’t think I’m as strong as God thinks I am.” My husband quickly replied, “He knows us better than we know ourselves.”

I’ve been thinking about God’s name for me. As I’ve mentioned in a previous post, I asked God in 2012 what my new name would be since I knew He’d made me a completely different person, just like Abram/Abraham or Saul/Paul. He led me to Isaiah 29. In that chapter Ariel is brought low to dust and besieged by war and attacks all around. However, in the end God promises a bright future with children. I knew then that was the name God had for me. I was Ariel. After researching it, I discovered that Ariel is the prophetic name for Jerusalem and it means, “Lion of God.” Ever since, I have become partial to references of “lions.”

Proverbs 30:29-30 (NET) There are three things that are magnificent in their step, four things that move about magnificently: a lion, mightiest of the beasts, who does not retreat from anything;

The first magnificent thing listed is a lion, which the Bible calls the mightiest of all beasts. And God says they don’t retreat from anything! Really, God? Are you sure You mean me?

There’s a scene at the end of The Chronicles of Narnia where the little girl, Lucy, says to Aslan: “I wish I were braver.” To which, Aslan (a lion Himself) replies, “If you were any braver, you’d be a lioness!” That touched my heart and reminded me of the way God sees me.

In 2012, I was made Ariel, brought so low I spoke from the dust, but God saw me and took pity. He redeemed me and promised me a future full of children and a restored marriage. But greater than these, He showed me a future filled with His praises, His miracles, His glory!!! In these 5.5 years, we’ve experienced sorrow and loss, and I can’t explain the whys. But, we’ve also experienced great joy and seen miracles with our own eyes. Maybe that’s the strength of the lion: to choose to praise in the midst of the storms.

Nehemiah 8:10b (NET) Do not grieve, for the joy of the LORD is your strength.”

Job 5:18 (The Children’s Bible) For he causes pain but to comfort, And wounds, that his hands may heal.”

Here is a fantastic article from Rejoice Marriage Ministries. Click the link below and type in “permanence” in the search box on that page. It will bring up only one choice. Click and read. I tried linking the article directly, but it would only link the homepage of articles.

https://www.rejoiceministries.org/resources/questions_and_answers

Genesis 9:20-27 (NET) Noah, a man of the soil, began to plant a vineyard. When he drank some of the wine, he got drunk and uncovered himself inside his tent. Ham, the father of Canaan, saw his father’s nakedness and told his two brothers who were outside. Shem and Japheth took the garment and placed it on their shoulders. Then they walked in backwards and covered up their father’s nakedness. Their faces were turned the other way so they did not see their father’s nakedness. When Noah awoke from his drunken stupor he learned what his youngest son had done to him. So he said, “Cursed be Canaan! The lowest of slaves he will be to his brothers.” He also said, “Worthy of praise is the LORD, the God of Shem! May Canaan be the slave of Shem! May God enlarge Japheth’s territory and numbers! May he live in the tents of Shem and may Canaan be his slave!”

During the time my husband was in the far country, I had a precious friend share this reference with me in light of honoring my husband, rather than sharing all his sins with anyone who would listen.

I was hurt and, at times, I was angry. I had a right to shed light on wrongs my husband was committing against me. After all, I wasn’t the one choosing the divorce. I wasn’t the one in adultery…blah, blah, blah. Yes, we can choose to be Ham, the one who reveals others’ shame. We can call our spouses ugly names. We can put down their character. We can do a lot of things, but it didn’t end well for Ham, and it won’t end well for us. If you can’t even speak well of your spouse while they are gone, how do you think restoration will go? Instead, we can choose to be Shem or Japheth, who were honored for covering Noah’s indiscretions. Show your husband respect by speaking well of him. Demonstrate love to your wife by not sharing all her faults to the world. To these things a wayward spouse wants to come back.

I’ll be honest with you, I only ever told a handful of people about what was going on with my husband at the time. But even the few that did know, I wish didn’t after our restoration. I honestly didn’t want people to judge him or to think badly of him for what he had done, when I KNEW my sins of anger and lack of submission, etc. were just as awful in the eyes of God!

Remember: Be careful about what you share or how you speak to others about your spouse. This is the person you are believing God to bring back into your life. You don’t want ill-will or shame to be another hurdle to overcome when God fulfills His promises to you!

Proverbs 11:13 (BBE) He who goes about talking of others makes secrets public, but the true-hearted man keeps things covered.

Here’s a disclaimer I feel inclined to share: Some might wonder why I would warn others about sharing too much when I write a blog about the very same things. Admittedly, there is a huge difference in where my husband and I are now, versus when he was in the Far Country or during our marriage restoration process. During those times, emotions run high and everything is so delicate and raw. Healing is taking place in an open wound. We started this blog at the end of our healing process. We believe that the last part of healing and the beginning of being completely healed is sharing God’s work in our lives. It takes a lot to be open and honest with people about our failings, but we must be able to, to share God’s richest grace and mercies. I hope you can see the difference. And to be frank, even now, we don’t just tell everyone we meet all that we’ve done and been through. We let God open doors to share. After all, it’s His great story written on our lives! 😍

We had some bumper stickers made that proclaim to the world how you should feel about your spouse! It also includes our blog address to hopefully encourage others. Just email us: marriageisacovenant@gmail.com. We will gladly send you one for free! Just specify which one (husband or wife) that you would like.

Habakkuk 1:5 (NIV) “Look at the nations and watch– and be utterly amazed. For I am going to do something in your days that you would not believe, even if you were told.

I was just sitting here thinking about my restored marriage. We’ve been restored for 5.5 years. In that time, God has blessed us with three wonderful kids (after 10 years of infertility), a marriage that’s stronger than it ever could’ve been before, & a life together that’s more beautiful than we could ever imagine. I was thinking about how I would go through all the pain again to get this life I have now. All the tears. All the sleepless nights. All the hurts were so worth having my husband beside me now seeking God’s glory above our own & teaching our kids to do the same b/c He is an awesome, amazing, and REAL God! I’m not bragging about my life. I’m so thankful for what I have b/c there was a time I had none of it. But here’s my point: would you stand stronger, harder, longer if you knew the miracles that awaited you on the other side? Don’t give up b/c it’s hard or b/c you don’t “see” any changes. Instead, dig in b/c it will all change “suddenly.” What if you’re sitting on your couch 5.5 years from now just like me totally astounded at the miraculous things God has done in your marriage?