Walls in Marriage

Lori Steinkamp Lassen from Rejoice Marriage Ministries wrote a great devotional for married couples to watch out from building walls in their marriage. I was reminded of the walls that used to be in our marriage. It’s such an amazing thing to realize that walls, once a constant in our marriage, are now something we have to be reminded of even existing! That’s why I had to write Lori a response to her devotional! We have to get the word out just what God can do! God heals hurting marriages…yes…but He does it so profoundly! God works the impossible in broken marriages. God is real and God loves us! And God does amazing things for us!

Here is the post of my response to Lori’s devotional. At the bottom is a link to her original post.

On our Mark 10 Nine Devotional for Married Couples, Lori recently wrote about the walls that can get built up in our marriages. Just as those walls go up, God can tear them down. Jennifer shares the story of watching the walls come down in their restored marriage.


by Jennifer in Mississippi
 Tuesday, October 19, 2021

It is so easy to erect walls around our hearts because our spouse has hurt us so many times. We can look up in our marriage and wonder how we got so distant from each other. We feel the walls. We see the walls.

Sometimes, like in my marriage, the walls are so real, they are a part of our marriage, and we would talk about them and wonder how in the world to get past them!

Finally, after so many years living with the walls and both of us refusing to remove them, unsure how to even begin that process, my husband had enough. He found a new lady with no walls and left our marriage full of them.

In my devastation, I heard God speak to me. He told me to stand and promised restoration. But God also acknowledged our walls. He was tearing mine down through standing, but what about the wall surrounding my hardened husband’s heart? Well, God gave me hope and a promise for that as well:

With your help I can advance against a troop; with my God I can scale a wall. Psalm 18:29

God was telling me those walls that existed for years in our marriage were going to come crashing down like the walls of Jericho! The restored marriage He promised me would have NO WALLS! What He was making would be new and last forever. I clung to those promises and waited for God to work. He doesn’t disappoint.

My husband and I are working on our 10th year since restoration. We are so grateful to say we have zero walls in our marriage. We still argue, disagree, and can even hurt each other, but God has changed us both so much. There’s too much gratitude and humility for walls to find a foundation. Only God can do that. God can move the mountains in the same way for you and your spouse!

You can read Lori’s full devotional Stop Building Walls in Your Marriage.

God bless,

Jennifer in Mississippi

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