We stand for our spouses and marriage restoration to change our family tree. We are praying for eternal changes to take place in the lives of ourselves and our family, to see our loved ones come to know Christ.

Today, I experienced a most unexpected blessing. Ariel, our 7 year old eldest daughter, the one who fought leukemia, told me she thinks she finally heard from God. 🙂

Let’s rewind to a few weeks ago when she wrote me a letter saying she’d been praying to God for Him to speak to her. She just didn’t understand why she couldn’t hear His voice. I took that time to explain that God speaks to us in a number of different ways. Mostly, it’s from His word. When His word jumps out at us, we know He’s speaking directly to us. Sometimes, He speaks to us through others. Other times we see or experience signs or feelings. However, whatever we think we hear from God MUST ALWAYS align to His word, never against it. I explained that it can be hard sometimes to hear God because we let distractions get in the way. We gotta learn to be quiet to hear Him. However, over time and with much seeking we can learn to hear from Him. He wants to talk to us. He wants us to listen.

Today, she tells me that about a week ago she was reading a scripture on the wall (as I’ve mentioned before, we have promises posted all over our house). She said, for some reason she focused on the word “rejoice.” Then she felt like she heard, “Have joy, for I am with you.”

When she shared that with me, the first thing I did was to look it up in the concordance. We discovered that there’s no exact reference for those words together, but of course God does command us to rejoice and also promises us that He’s with us. So I told her that it falls in line with truth. I also looked at her and told her that I know for a fact that God is with her. She knew that too. Then, I told her she needed to write it in her journal to God, because all her prior entries were her talking to God. She needed to write down when God speaks to her too!

I’ve been amazed seeing this spiritual growth in my tiny daughter. I peeked through her journal and saw she had asked God some serious questions. I read one aloud: “God why do you let bad things happen?” So I asked her what she thought the answer was to that one. She thought it was different reasons, but the one that she named was how ppl think they have a good relationship with God and He uses bad things to happen so He can really show them how their relationship really is.

I was impressed. Have we discussed this topic before? Of course. We’ve explained leukemia, the deaths of grandfathers, Covid, etc. But here was her chance to express what she’s learned. I thought it was profound. There’s a lot of adults who struggle with that question.

God challenged me in 2012 to stand for my marriage…way before kids. When I accepted that challenge, I was just hoping to get my husband back (being honest here). I never could’ve imagined this moment almost 10 years ago. When God changed me, he tipped the first domino to change my husband, to change my marriage, to create 4 amazing kids, and to change the way we would raise them. We’ve seen what God can do. We’ve seen Him restore. We’ve seen Him provide. We’ve seen Him protect. We’ve seen Him heal. How can we not share this with our kids? They’re part of the miracles we’ve seen!

God has this amazing plan for them. I know it because they came so close to never existing! God has this amazing plan for your family tree as well! Please, please, PLEASE don’t ever give up on your stand!

There have been so many people praying for Ariel and all of us, that I wanted to make a video update to give glory to God.

https://youtu.be/d5NTu-531rU

Lori Steinkamp Lassen from Rejoice Marriage Ministries wrote a great devotional for married couples to watch out from building walls in their marriage. I was reminded of the walls that used to be in our marriage. It’s such an amazing thing to realize that walls, once a constant in our marriage, are now something we have to be reminded of even existing! That’s why I had to write Lori a response to her devotional! We have to get the word out just what God can do! God heals hurting marriages…yes…but He does it so profoundly! God works the impossible in broken marriages. God is real and God loves us! And God does amazing things for us!

Here is the post of my response to Lori’s devotional. At the bottom is a link to her original post.

On our Mark 10 Nine Devotional for Married Couples, Lori recently wrote about the walls that can get built up in our marriages. Just as those walls go up, God can tear them down. Jennifer shares the story of watching the walls come down in their restored marriage.

WATCHING THE WALLS FALL

by Jennifer in Mississippi
 Tuesday, October 19, 2021

It is so easy to erect walls around our hearts because our spouse has hurt us so many times. We can look up in our marriage and wonder how we got so distant from each other. We feel the walls. We see the walls.

Sometimes, like in my marriage, the walls are so real, they are a part of our marriage, and we would talk about them and wonder how in the world to get past them!

Finally, after so many years living with the walls and both of us refusing to remove them, unsure how to even begin that process, my husband had enough. He found a new lady with no walls and left our marriage full of them.

In my devastation, I heard God speak to me. He told me to stand and promised restoration. But God also acknowledged our walls. He was tearing mine down through standing, but what about the wall surrounding my hardened husband’s heart? Well, God gave me hope and a promise for that as well:

With your help I can advance against a troop; with my God I can scale a wall. Psalm 18:29

God was telling me those walls that existed for years in our marriage were going to come crashing down like the walls of Jericho! The restored marriage He promised me would have NO WALLS! What He was making would be new and last forever. I clung to those promises and waited for God to work. He doesn’t disappoint.

My husband and I are working on our 10th year since restoration. We are so grateful to say we have zero walls in our marriage. We still argue, disagree, and can even hurt each other, but God has changed us both so much. There’s too much gratitude and humility for walls to find a foundation. Only God can do that. God can move the mountains in the same way for you and your spouse!

You can read Lori’s full devotional Stop Building Walls in Your Marriage.

God bless,

Jennifer in Mississippi

Confession time: I get angry too easily. It usually stems from things or situations that overwhelm me, freak me out, are out of my control, or cause me to be afraid. I lash out and react very poorly. I absolutely hate it. I hate that my first reaction is anger. I hate when I blow up at my kids. I hate when it controls me. 

I have to admit, I was worse before my marriage broke down in 2012. That was one of the major pitfalls to my marriage falling apart. Anger was my generational curse and the sin that controlled me. However, after God restored my marriage, He gave me such a different perspective toward my husband and marriage, I didn’t struggle with anger toward him anymore. Sure, we got angry at each other like all married couples, yet it didn’t control me. Again, I say God changed me on a molecular level in 2012. However, with the advent of 4 small kids and so much chaos that ensues in our house, that anger is trying to rear its ugly head again and, honestly, I don’t want my kids to learn that behavior. I want to teach and exemplify a better way.

So, I took it to the Lord. I studied every verse I could find about anger, malice, wrath…even scriptures regarding the tongue. Then, all of a sudden, my fervor regarding the study of anger ceased. I asked God why, and He led me in a different direction: Meekness. 

It began with this verse:

Mt 11:29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest for your souls.

I could use some rest for my soul. So I need to be like Jesus to get that rest, and He calls Himself meek. So I looked it up. Guess what? Meekness is nothing like what I imagined in my mind. I’m gonna quote the life-changing commentary I found from Blue Letter Bible:

“Meekness toward God is that disposition of spirit in which we accept His dealings with us as good, and therefore, without disputing or resisting. In the OT, the meek are those wholly relying on God rather than their own strength to defend against injustice. Thus, meekness toward evil people means knowing God is permitting the injuries they inflict, that He is using them to purify His elect, and that He will deliver His elect in His time. Meekness is the opposite to self-assertiveness and self-interest. It stems from trust in God’s goodness and control over the situation. The meek is not concerned with self at all. This is a work of the Holy Spirit, not of the human will.”

I pictured meekness as passivity, a weakness, letting others walk all over you…things I don’t do or allow, that’s never been my nature. But do you realize how much strength it takes to shut up and just accept the injustices done to you? What about the power it takes to choose to submit to the bad things that happen to you, rather than fight against them? God pointed out that my anger was simply a symptom of a lack of meekness. I believe that all things that happen to us, both good AND bad have to be allowed by God. My belief is in His sovereignty…nothing is out of His control at any time. I also believe that everything He allows works together for our good. But, if I truly believe this, why do I rise up against someone who wrongs me? Why do I get angry when things get out of my control? I have the wrong perspective. The person who wrongs me is not my enemy…God allowed it to happen. The air conditioner that breaks down is out of my control, but God is using it to show me His provision. Time and time again, God has shown Himself to me through very distressing situations…so why get angry when they first occur? 

Jesus is meek, because He submitted to His Father’s will. He suffered greatly, knowing it was for good. Because He suffered, we can come to the Father. We, too, must submit to the Father’s will…whatever it may be in our individual lives. It truly is for our good. Meekness is submission to God’s will/way/plans. True meekness eradicates anger, depression, fear, etc. These are all symptoms of not fully trusting or believing in God, His plan, and control over our lives. I may believe in God’s sovereignty, but now I’ve got to live it!

The good news is before I began my study and after pleading with the Lord about it, He promised me victory! So I know God is gonna change my DNA again. This time He’s gonna make me meek and eradicate all that anger, depression, and fear. I no longer have to get angry when things don’t go my way. I won’t yell at my kids. I will submit to God that everything that happens to us has to pass through His hands first…so it’s gonna be ok, He’s got plans!

I’m just gonna post my study notes below for references:

God will remove my anger:

He holds victory in store for the upright, he is a shield to those whose walk is blameless, for he guards the course of the just and protects the way of his faithful ones. Then you will understand what is right and just and fair – every good path. (Pro 2:7-9)

May he give you the desire of your heart and make all your plans succeed. We will shout for joy when you are victorious and will lift up our banners in the name of our God. May the LORD grant all your requests. Now I know that the LORD saves his anointed; he answers him from his holy heaven with the saving power of his right hand. Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the LORD our God. (Ps 20:4-7)

Meekness like Christ:

Mt 11:29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest for your souls.

Mt 21:5 Our King was meek

Jo 13:15 For I have given you an example, that you should do as I have done to you.

1 Jo 2:6 He who says he abides in Him ought to himself also to walk just as He walked.

Phil 2:5,8 Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus…humbled Himself and became obedient to the point of death

1 Pet 2:21 For to this you were called, because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us  an example, that you should follow His steps

Commands of Meekness:

Zeph 2:3 Seek ye the Lord, all ye meek of the earth, which have wrought His judgment; seek righteousness, seek meekness: it may be ye shall be hid in the day of the Lord’s anger.

Eph 4:2 Walk in your calling with lowliness and meekness

Col 3:12 put on meekness

1 Tim 6:11 follow after meekness

2 Tim 2:25 instruct in meekness

Titus 3:2 Show meekness to all men

1 Pet 3:15 give reason of the hope that lies within you with meekness

Gal 5:23 meekness is a fruit of the Spirit

Promises for Meek: Provision, Guidance, Protection, & Justice

Ps 22:26 The meek shall eat & be satisfied: they shall praise the Lord that seek Him: your heart shall live forever.

Ps 25:9 The meek will He guide in judgment: & the meek will He teach His way.

Ps 147:6 The Lord lifts up the meek

Is 11:4 But with righteousness shall he judge the poor, and reprove with equity for the meek of the earth…

Rewards of the Meek: Peace, Salvation, Joy, & Rest

Ps 37:11 But the meek shall inherit the earth; and shall delight themselves in the abundance of peace.

Ps 149:4 For the Lord takes pleasure in His ppl: He will beautify the meek with salvation.

Is 29: 19 The meek also shall increase their joy in the Lord, and the poor among men shall rejoice in the Holy One of Israel.

Mt 11:29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest for your souls.

The whole purpose of our blog is to share nuggets of truth that we, ourselves, cling and refer to. Today, I want to share a blog post that was shared with me when I had only 2 kids at the time. It has nothing to do with marriage, but everything to do with being an overwhelmed parent and trusting God. I have referenced this post so many times in the past few years as my family has grown to four children, and it so resonates with me that I felt like sharing it here. Hope it finds ears to hear. 🙂

http://www.shortstopblog.com/2013/08/to-moms-of-one-or-two-children.html?m=1