We are calling all prayer warriors to please pray for our middle child, Ariel. Doctors diagnosed her with leukemia. We are praying for strength, wisdom, and healing.

I was reading John 9 this morning where the disciples ask Jesus why the guy was born blind. Jesus simply says to show the works of God in him. The why’s don’t matter, but giving all for the glory of God is what truly matters.

I know life is hard…and sometimes it gets harder than we think possible, but that doesn’t mean God isn’t a good God.

Y’all, God is a great God! I see that in the incredible strength of my little girl and the infinite kindnesses shown by so many friends, family, and strangers. This is all for His glory!!!

Genesis 50:20-21 (NKJV) 20 “But as for you, you meant evil against me; [but] God meant it for good, in order to bring it about as [it is] this day, to save many people alive. 21 “Now therefore, do not be afraid; I will provide for you and your little ones.” And he comforted them and spoke kindly to them.

Ephesians 5:33 (NLT) So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

I remember reading Love & Respect by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs and learning some valuable truths. The author pointed out that everyone thinks love must be unconditional, but respect must be earned, yet God’s Word tells us otherwise. Notice the verse doesn’t say that the wife respect her husband IF he loves her or IF he deserves it. It says the wife MUST love her husband…period! It was very eye opening to say the least. Men are commanded to love their wives whether they deserve it or not, and women are commanded to respect their husbands in the same way. Yikes!

That was something I didn’t know how to do when all my life I’d been taught/shown otherwise. However, the great news is that God can change our hearts to align to His Word. Boy, I’m so glad! Sometimes it’s in leaps and bounds, but other times it’s baby steps. We just have to succumb our will to God’s. In that way, it’s really not about our husbands at all (what they do right or wrong), but looking to God to do what’s right when we give it to Him. I remember crying and screaming to God it wasn’t fair to respect him after all he’d done to me and our marriage, but after my fit throwing, I chose to do it His way. After that, it wasn’t an issue anymore! God took all the struggle away and replaced it with His love for my husband! Wow!!

I have found, when we respect unconditionally the way God commands, God changes our husbands into someone worthy of that respect. That’s why it became a non-issue for me. Not only did I see God change me, but my husband too!

So, life lesson learned: Unconditional love for my husband is great, but unconditional respect for my husband is commanded by God, because, truly, it’s what men require!

God is leading me into an empowering study of all the weapons He gives us to fight the enemy. One of which is “Brethren.” This is the support we are given by God in others. We were never meant to fight alone. God’s army is not an army of one. God gives us prayer warriors to walk alongside of us to support us through the thick of battle. These are not well-wishers or those who only want to see us “happy.” These are other fighters who understand the wisdom gained in warfare and strive to aid you in your growth THROUGH the fight, instead of trying to rescue you from your pain…the very pain God uses to strengthen us!

Let me tell you about Maureen:

I was a school teacher before I quit to come home determined to start a family via the adoption process. We’d been infertile for 10 years and longed for a family. So I quit teaching hoping to start a new chapter. It was then, JW surprised me with the divorce request…not quite the chapter I was expecting. So, here I was, jobless, husbandless, childless, and even friendless due to previous circumstances prior. (I now realize drinking buddies are never true friends!)

Well, one of my high school students whom I dearly love invited me to go to church with her since her mom was out of town. As we’re waiting for church to start, a huge billboard announcement appears informing everyone of an upcoming marriage book study led by none other than my student’s mom! Lol She even wondered if her mom knew they’d signed her up as a study leader! I told her I was sure she knew. 😉 Of course, my student didn’t know about my marital state, but I found it all very interesting and told God that I would go. I admitted to Him I needed all the help I could get!

So that week I met with a small group of ladies, led by Maureen, to discuss marriage and our role as wives. Maureen knew me and JW because we had all just gotten back from a national tournament her daughter had qualified for. When it came time to introduce myself and why I was there, she was so shocked to hear that my husband had asked for a divorce. I laid all my cards out on the table and told those ladies my marriage was falling apart and I needed help. God had sent me Maureen.

From that day, she gave me hope and pointed me to Christ as the Savior of my marriage. Maureen introduced me to Rejoice Marriage Ministries and shared how she stood for her restored marriage. She explained the covenant of marriage and what it means to stand for that covenant. Maureen was the warrior God sent to speak truth to me and not worry about “sparing my feelings.” I turned to God first, but when I was so overwhelmed from so many sucker punches of the enemy, I called up Maureen to pray with me and speak God’s Word to me. She was there every time, because she knew the pain and knew the hardship of the journey.

I barely knew this woman, but I knew God had sent her to me for “such a time as this” and I was more than grateful. Actually, JW and I were so grateful for her after our restoration, we named our first daughter after her: Ariel Maureen!

God doesn’t leave us to fight alone. He fights for us and He gives us warriors to fight with us. This is a weapon we have to fight against the enemy. Don’t seek out people to gripe or whine or complain to. That’s a marriage killer. Seek those who know God’s Word and will call you out on it. Share only with those who are for your marriage. Don’t fight alone. Pray to receive your prayer warriors!

God bless.

We just suffered our second miscarriage. It has been heartbreaking to say the least. I told my husband in the pit of my despair, “I don’t think I’m as strong as God thinks I am.” My husband quickly replied, “He knows us better than we know ourselves.”

I’ve been thinking about God’s name for me. As I’ve mentioned in a previous post, I asked God in 2012 what my new name would be since I knew He’d made me a completely different person, just like Abram/Abraham or Saul/Paul. He led me to Isaiah 29. In that chapter Ariel is brought low to dust and besieged by war and attacks all around. However, in the end God promises a bright future with children. I knew then that was the name God had for me. I was Ariel. After researching it, I discovered that Ariel is the prophetic name for Jerusalem and it means, “Lion of God.” Ever since, I have become partial to references of “lions.”

Proverbs 30:29-30 (NET) There are three things that are magnificent in their step, four things that move about magnificently: a lion, mightiest of the beasts, who does not retreat from anything;

The first magnificent thing listed is a lion, which the Bible calls the mightiest of all beasts. And God says they don’t retreat from anything! Really, God? Are you sure You mean me?

There’s a scene at the end of The Chronicles of Narnia where the little girl, Lucy, says to Aslan: “I wish I were braver.” To which, Aslan (a lion Himself) replies, “If you were any braver, you’d be a lioness!” That touched my heart and reminded me of the way God sees me.

In 2012, I was made Ariel, brought so low I spoke from the dust, but God saw me and took pity. He redeemed me and promised me a future full of children and a restored marriage. But greater than these, He showed me a future filled with His praises, His miracles, His glory!!! In these 5.5 years, we’ve experienced sorrow and loss, and I can’t explain the whys. But, we’ve also experienced great joy and seen miracles with our own eyes. Maybe that’s the strength of the lion: to choose to praise in the midst of the storms.

Nehemiah 8:10b (NET) Do not grieve, for the joy of the LORD is your strength.”

Job 5:18 (The Children’s Bible) For he causes pain but to comfort, And wounds, that his hands may heal.”

Here is a fantastic article from Rejoice Marriage Ministries. Click the link below and type in “permanence” in the search box on that page. It will bring up only one choice. Click and read. I tried linking the article directly, but it would only link the homepage of articles.

https://www.rejoiceministries.org/resources/questions_and_answers

Genesis 9:20-27 (NET) Noah, a man of the soil, began to plant a vineyard. When he drank some of the wine, he got drunk and uncovered himself inside his tent. Ham, the father of Canaan, saw his father’s nakedness and told his two brothers who were outside. Shem and Japheth took the garment and placed it on their shoulders. Then they walked in backwards and covered up their father’s nakedness. Their faces were turned the other way so they did not see their father’s nakedness. When Noah awoke from his drunken stupor he learned what his youngest son had done to him. So he said, “Cursed be Canaan! The lowest of slaves he will be to his brothers.” He also said, “Worthy of praise is the LORD, the God of Shem! May Canaan be the slave of Shem! May God enlarge Japheth’s territory and numbers! May he live in the tents of Shem and may Canaan be his slave!”

During the time my husband was in the far country, I had a precious friend share this reference with me in light of honoring my husband, rather than sharing all his sins with anyone who would listen.

I was hurt and, at times, I was angry. I had a right to shed light on wrongs my husband was committing against me. After all, I wasn’t the one choosing the divorce. I wasn’t the one in adultery…blah, blah, blah. Yes, we can choose to be Ham, the one who reveals others’ shame. We can call our spouses ugly names. We can put down their character. We can do a lot of things, but it didn’t end well for Ham, and it won’t end well for us. If you can’t even speak well of your spouse while they are gone, how do you think restoration will go? Instead, we can choose to be Shem or Japheth, who were honored for covering Noah’s indiscretions. Show your husband respect by speaking well of him. Demonstrate love to your wife by not sharing all her faults to the world. To these things a wayward spouse wants to come back.

I’ll be honest with you, I only ever told a handful of people about what was going on with my husband at the time. But even the few that did know, I wish didn’t after our restoration. I honestly didn’t want people to judge him or to think badly of him for what he had done, when I KNEW my sins of anger and lack of submission, etc. were just as awful in the eyes of God!

Remember: Be careful about what you share or how you speak to others about your spouse. This is the person you are believing God to bring back into your life. You don’t want ill-will or shame to be another hurdle to overcome when God fulfills His promises to you!

Proverbs 11:13 (BBE) He who goes about talking of others makes secrets public, but the true-hearted man keeps things covered.

Here’s a disclaimer I feel inclined to share: Some might wonder why I would warn others about sharing too much when I write a blog about the very same things. Admittedly, there is a huge difference in where my husband and I are now, versus when he was in the Far Country or during our marriage restoration process. During those times, emotions run high and everything is so delicate and raw. Healing is taking place in an open wound. We started this blog at the end of our healing process. We believe that the last part of healing and the beginning of being completely healed is sharing God’s work in our lives. It takes a lot to be open and honest with people about our failings, but we must be able to, to share God’s richest grace and mercies. I hope you can see the difference. And to be frank, even now, we don’t just tell everyone we meet all that we’ve done and been through. We let God open doors to share. After all, it’s His great story written on our lives! 😍

We had some bumper stickers made that proclaim to the world how you should feel about your spouse! It also includes our blog address to hopefully encourage others. Just email us: marriageisacovenant@gmail.com. We will gladly send you one for free! Just specify which one (husband or wife) that you would like.

Habakkuk 1:5 (NIV) “Look at the nations and watch– and be utterly amazed. For I am going to do something in your days that you would not believe, even if you were told.

I was just sitting here thinking about my restored marriage. We’ve been restored for 5.5 years. In that time, God has blessed us with three wonderful kids (after 10 years of infertility), a marriage that’s stronger than it ever could’ve been before, & a life together that’s more beautiful than we could ever imagine. I was thinking about how I would go through all the pain again to get this life I have now. All the tears. All the sleepless nights. All the hurts were so worth having my husband beside me now seeking God’s glory above our own & teaching our kids to do the same b/c He is an awesome, amazing, and REAL God! I’m not bragging about my life. I’m so thankful for what I have b/c there was a time I had none of it. But here’s my point: would you stand stronger, harder, longer if you knew the miracles that awaited you on the other side? Don’t give up b/c it’s hard or b/c you don’t “see” any changes. Instead, dig in b/c it will all change “suddenly.” What if you’re sitting on your couch 5.5 years from now just like me totally astounded at the miraculous things God has done in your marriage?