Good Article

How to Have a Marriage that Lasts


  1. I am not sure if this question is for the wife (who was stander) or husband (prodigal) Since we were separated and he would come visit the children, I showed him love, forgiveness, kindness and friendship. I asked for forgiveness for my part, I wrote him a letter full of validations for him. But now we are d, I can’t even say the word, and I have not seen him since 4 mths and he no longer calls. This is very painful, my question is how am I to continue to radiate God’s love to him and plant seeds of love in his heart? Will he remember and reflect on how I have in the past? I realize he is with OW so they might not be room for me or thoughts for me. He sometimes asks my daughter how I am doing, but that is because he cares after so many years of marriage.

    1. From Jenn: There’s a reason Charlyne Steinkamp uses the metaphor “on the other side of the mountain.” That’s because if you are standing on one side of the mountain and your spouse is on the exact opposite side of that same mountain, then you can’t see what they are doing or saying on their side. You can speculate and the enemy can whisper lies, but truly you can’t see what God is doing in your spouse’s heart, mind, and life. This is the time you sit tight, trust God’s work on him, and let God work on you. When your spouse comes back around, that’s when you are given opportunity to demonstrate God’s love and forgiveness to him. Don’t listen to the doubts from the enemy. God’s reminders of you to your husband are greater than anything you can do in the flesh. For what God does lasts forever and you wouldn’t want it any other way.

    2. From JW (former prodigal): When my wife was standing for our marriage, there was more than just her love, forgiveness and kindness that brought me home. Yes, those things played a big roll, but that is not where the power lay. The war she fought on her hands and knees, and sometimes face, when I was no where to be seen is what truly broke the wall and brought me home. I spent many sleepless nights alone at the house I was staying in, tossing and turning, miserable. I even remember one morning waking up, and it was almost as if I was literally wrestling God on my bed, because I was in so much turmoil. Pray for your husband, fast for your husband, stand in the gap for him, and let God do the rest. Ezekiel 22:30 “I looked for someone among them who would build up the wall and stand before me in the gap on behalf of the land so I would not have to destroy it, but I found no one.” You must be that one that stands in the gap for your husband, if you don’t, no one else will.

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