When I was a child, I remember riding down the highway with my mom. It was raining heavily and then, as we drove farther along the road, it completely stopped with the sun shining. I asked her about it, and she explained that it was called “isolated showers.” I still remember how amazed I was that it could be storming in one location, while the sun shone just a short distance away. 

Now fast forward to the lowest time of my life. My husband wants a divorce, has moved out, and is seeing another woman. I’m surrounded by the storms of life, and I’m overwhelmed by my circumstances. As I’m driving home one day, in the middle of all this turmoil, I drive through a huge downpour. Then, as I keep driving, the rain clears and clouds disappear leaving sunny skies up ahead. At that moment, I heard the Lord speak. He told me that all the circumstances in my life were just isolated showers and up ahead were sunny skies. Although it was hard to believe, and I didn’t know how long it would take, I trusted Him to know my future. 

You know what? Although that was the most painful storm of my life, God was right. It was but a brief shower followed by continually bright weather. Keep that in mind as you face hard trials. Although circumstances may appear dark, God’s forecast brings a lot of light. 🙂

The tides change…

One obstacle was sickness. Our toddler had the croup and a bad cold within two weeks from each other, both lasting a week each. Once he got better, the baby and I both got it! Our family went to the doctor seven times that month! Since we didn’t want our 4 month old baby to get as sick as our toddler had been, JW and I decided to fast together and pray for her. Looking back now, we realize it was the first time in 12.5 years of marriage that we had fasted and prayed together!

Anyway, that very day I get an email about a house for sale less than a mile from our family and land. It’s a nice two-story brick house with an open floor plan like we wanted in a very prominent neighborhood. What grabbed our attention was the price. It was a foreclosure!

We were able to look at the property that very day. Because we had put our house for sale and were thinking of listing it with an agent, we had a realtor contact that was able to bid for us. It was a small window of time to bid, so we prayed for God’s wisdom and guidance.  We also found out that same night our cousins had a contract to sell their house after only two weeks for sale! They were ready to start the process to buy our house!

So, we bidded an amount that we felt was still an excellent deal for the property, then prayed and fasted for the week we had to wait. And wouldn’t you know it? We got the bid! 😀 We’ve been earnestly awaiting the appraisal. We found out Monday that the house, “as-is” and only needing minor repairs, appraised for $65,000 more than our bid price! Not only that, but the square footage had been way off too. Our current house is 1,733 sq. ft. This house is over 2,600 sq. ft.! We’d been praying for room to grow and God answered. Actually, God answered exceeding abundantly above all that we asked or thought to ask…just the way only He can and does! 

Because God recently provided bonus money through JW’s work, we have the money to close. And due to the small loan we were going to use to complete the tiny house on the land, we have money available to make the minor repairs needed before we move in. And to top it all off, the sale of our current house should pay off the new house and all debt! When God works, He goes big! He has truly blessed our socks off. 🙂 **Update: Since the purchase, we’ve discovered our bid price was only $2400 more than another! God just let us know we didn’t waste any money overbidding!**

I forgot to mention, the day JW placed our bid I read the following in my devotional: 

Lift up your eyes from where you are and look north and south, east and west. All the land that you see I will give to you. (Genesis 13:14–15)
No desire will ever be placed in you by the Holy Spirit unless He intends to fulfill it. So let your faith rise up and soar away to claim all the land you can discover. S. A. Keen…Look as far as you can, for it is all yours…As He opens your understanding, enabling you to see His fullness, believe He has it all for you. Accept for yourself all the promises of His Word, all the desires He awakens within you, and all the possibilities of what you could become as a follower of Jesus. All the land you see is given to you.

Isn’t that amazing?!

Isaiah 64:4 (NIV) Since ancient times no one has heard, no ear has perceived, no eye has seen any God besides you, who acts on behalf of those who wait for him.

Since the Lord has opened my womb and blessed us with children, we’ve run into the wonderful problem of having a house that is shrinking with every new birth! 😉 

We have loved our house and put a lot of ourselves into it by gutting and remodeling it. However, we need room to grow. So, we’ve been praying now, for quite awhile, about what to do. With two small babies and much older ailing parents, we finally agreed to move back to the small town in which we grew up. There, we could help our parents much more, and they could help with the babies. Also, there is JW’s family land where our children could safely grow up and play. 

It would seem simple enough that now we were in agreement, we could move forward. I laugh at that thought!  We’ve been through quite a few plans that apparently were not God’s. But, that’s okay because we continually prayed for His will and way above ours since He knows the future better than we do! 😉

1. Our current house is paid for. So, we were going to put a mortgage on it and add a large addition to an existing structure on our family land. Then, we’d sell this house, pay off the mortgage and remain debt free. Well, God stopped JW right as the paperwork was almost complete. Neither of us understood why. Two weeks later, we discovered we were pregnant with our second child! Even though this plan wasn’t God’s, He still ordained it, because we discovered all of our land hadn’t been deeded correctly, which we needed to sell our property down the road. 

2. Next, we decided to just buy a nice house close to family land and not deal with the hassle of building with soon-to-be two babies. We found an ideal place and were willing to get a $100k mortgage in addition to the sale of our current house. We figured that was the only way to get a larger house without remodeling. God didn’t agree. We could never agree to a reasonable price with the owner, so, another one bites the dust…

Meanwhile, I have to mention that the Lord led us to paint our current house and put it up for sale, even though we had no place to go!

3.  For our final plan, we decided to get a small loan to complete the existing tiny structure on our family land for a temporary residence. Then, we’d apply for a construction loan to build our forever home on the land. We got the small loan and went to work. Cousins discovered we were selling our house and decided they wanted it if they could sell their house first. Well, we tried speeding up the process, but we hit obstacle after obstacle never able to finish the tiny house, let alone begin construction on a larger one. Oh the frustration!

To be continued…

Deuteronomy 8:2-3 (ESV) And you shall remember the whole way that the LORD your God has led you these forty years in the wilderness, that he might humble you, testing you to know what was in your heart, whether you would keep his commandments or not. And he humbled you and let you hunger and fed you with manna, which you did not know, nor did your fathers know, that he might make you know that man does not live by bread alone, but man lives by every word that comes from the mouth of the LORD.

What if I said that I was going to not feed my son for a whole day, because I wanted to teach him what true hunger was, to appreciate food, and understand how most of the world’s population lives? Well, I’d get thrown in jail for child neglect, that’s what! However, that’s how God parents. He doesn’t just meet superficial needs, although they are still needs. He’s looking to instill more in us…eternal perspectives. 

We wonder why God makes us wait. Think about the manna. God could’ve provided it before the Israelites even got hungry, but He didn’t. He made them wait. He made them feel hunger. God can do anything with a thought, but His timing is just as divine. God could’ve healed our marriage long before JW ever left, but He didn’t. If God never let us experience the pain of a broken marriage, then we’d never know the full value of a covenant marriage. We wouldn’t fully appreciate the existence of two beautiful, precious babies who Satan came so close to stealing before they were ever born. We wouldn’t have seen the miracles of God that we have. 

So many want to blame God because bad things happen to us: hunger, poverty, war, sickness, death. However, I’ve decided that it’s not God’s punishment that brings us to these points, but His everlasting mercy. For His mercy brings us to the end of ourselves, so that we may find a life which begins with Him. We just have to accept that God allows us to feel hunger, to make us more eternally minded. 

Proverbs 22:1 (NKJV) A [good] name is to be chosen rather than great riches, Loving favor rather than silver and gold.

Because of all that we experienced, we wanted to give names to our children that glorified The Great I Am. After 10 years of infertility, God told me I was pregnant almost a month after JW came back home! I know that sounds crazy, but it’s true. I was journaling when I heard the Holy Spirit say I was pregnant. I stopped writing thinking I was imagining things. As I looked up, my eyes fell on a scripture I had posted on the doorpost:

Psalms 37:5 (KJV) 5 Commit thy way unto the LORD; trust also in him; and he shall bring [it] to pass.

It stunned me, but I ignored it and kept writing. But the feeling wouldn’t let me go. So, I looked up again and my eyes fell on another verse:

Psalms 37:4 (KJV) 4 Delight thyself also in the LORD; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.

This was the desire of my heart, and I knew God was speaking to me, but of course I was doubtful this was actually happening. I had started journaling everything that was taking place at that moment, still questioning, when my eyes fell on one more verse:

Luke 1:45 (NKJV) “Blessed [is] she who believed, for there will be a fulfillment of those things which were told her from the Lord.”

Wow! By this point, I nearly fell out of the chair! I told God, “OK, I believe You.” Most would say here, “The rest is history,” but it’s not. Lol. Two weeks later I started cramping for days, but nothing happened. I took home pregnancy tests everyday and every result was negative! I didn’t understand. I believed I was pregnant, but there was no evidence. Finally, JW convinced me to go to the doctor for a blood test. As I sat in the doctor’s office awaiting results, I remembered a dream God gave me while JW was still in the Far Country. In the dream I found out I was pregnant in the doctor’s office! When I awoke I couldn’t understand why I had to find out from the doctor when we have pregnancy tests! Lol. 

When the nurse came back, she started explaining that I had to come back in two days. I stopped her to ask if I was pregnant. She said I was “slightly pregnant.” I didn’t even know that was possible! She explained that my hormone levels had to be checked again to see if they were increasing. So, we waited for 2 more days. JW and I believed so much that I was pregnant, he took off a day of work to go back to the doctor with me. We finally got the call we were waiting for: WE WERE PREGNANT! 😀 (P.S. I really think God has a sense of humor!)

It wasn’t long after that, I realized this child was conceived in forgiveness. JW & I had forgiven each other, and God had forgiven us both. I looked up a name which means “God forgives.” Ian was the only name. It just happened to also be the Gaelic name for John! So, from that day forward I prayed for a son to name “Ian.” And God answered that prayer and blessed us with Ian just two weeks before our 11th anniversary!

Our daughter’s story isn’t as dramatic, but that doesn’t lessen the miracle any bit. We had been praying for more children almost the second Ian was born. After 10 months, the Lord answered that prayer as well. I had been exhausted, and it finally dawned on me to take a pregnancy test. After my experience with Ian, I bought three! Lol. It only took one. WE WERE PREGNANT AGAIN! I got to surprise JW with that one. 😉 

When we discovered we were having a girl, we already knew her name. In the Bible, after God changes people so drastically, he usually changed their names: Abraham, Sarah, Jacob, Paul. I had asked the Lord in 2012 what my name would be.

Isaiah 65:15 (NKJV)
And ye shall leave your name for a curse unto my chosen: for the Lord GOD shall slay thee, and call his servants by another name:

Isaiah 62:2 (NKJV) The Gentiles shall see your righteousness, And all kings your glory. You shall be called by a new name, Which the mouth of the LORD will name.

I knew that I had been forever changed. I was just curious if God had a name for me. It wasn’t long after that question, God showed me Isaiah 29. It talks about Ariel being brought low, but in the end God shows mercy. I discovered that Ariel is the prophetic name of Jerusalem and means “Lion of God.” That was my new name! I smiled and promised God that if He ever blessed me with a daughter, I’d name her Ariel. In December of 2014, God and I both kept our promises! 

2016 Update: We are blessed with another daughter!! We had no clue what to name her, but after much research and God’s leading, we found the perfect name. “Annelise” means “graced by God’s bounty.” We truly have been… 🙂

Zechariah 9:12 (NKJV) 12 Return to the stronghold, You prisoners of hope. Even today I declare That I will restore double to you.

Isaiah 61:7 (KJV) 7 For your shame [ye shall have] double; and [for] confusion they shall rejoice in their portion: therefore in their land they shall possess the double: everlasting joy shall be unto them.
Today I read Zechariah 9:12 and was reminded of God’s promise to me while JW was in the Far Country. He gave me Isaiah 61:7. It’s similar to my last post about God blessing me with good for all the bad I was experiencing, but more specifically, “double.”

“Double” was something to which I could cling. I vividly remember being in so much pain the day after a distressing conversation with JW that all I could do was lie on the floor of my bedroom. JW had told me the OW was such a blessing, and he was full of so much peace with his decision to leave me for her. (Whew, it’s still painful to type that out after almost 3 years later!) As I lay there crying out to God, I heard Him say, “double.” I honestly thought God was crazy then. I asked, “God, how can You promise ‘double’ when JW isn’t home, or even wants to come home?” Silence. 

That’s where faith has to come in. God doesn’t lay out His divine plans to us step by step. He tells us the outcome, and we either believe or we don’t. I still thought God was crazy, but I chose to believe. You know, that sounds so pious, but really I didn’t have much choice. God showed me that my pain would still follow me even if I chose divorce and my own way. So I believed…I stayed on the floor for a few more days…but I believed. 

So, what is my “double?” When I got pregnant a month after JW came home, I thought it was having JW back and our son. Now we have two beautiful children. They could easily be our double portion after 10 years of infertility. However, we believe the Father will bless us with more children. Then, what is the “double” God promised? I think it’s all that I learned during such a painful journey and the rewards that came from obeying Him. I share this not to brag, but to share hope. If God can do it for me, He will do it for you! Just believe. 

Jeremiah 32:42 (NKJV) “For thus says the LORD: ‘Just as I have brought all this great calamity on this people, so I will bring on them all the good that I have promised them.

I remember God telling me this when JW was in the far country, and I hurt so badly I couldn’t move. I believed that it would be as good in the future as the pain was in the present. It turned out to be even better! When I see the love in my husband’s eyes, when I hold my two beautiful kids, and when we pray together as a family, I see “God’s goodness in the land of the living,” and I know the pain was worth it!
Today, I read Romans 8:18 –

Romans 8:18 (NKJV) For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us. 

All that happens to us individually and the suffering we’ll experience as Christians in the dark days ahead as Christ’s return draws near will be nothing to the future with Him. But Romans doesn’t have to just reference the glory of heaven, but also the glory found in us after each trial through which we suffer. 

ALMOST makes me long for suffering…

almost…